Quiz: Am I A Teacher Or A Death Doula?

Is this a high school or hospital?

1. Blank stares. Nothing but blank stares when I tell a joke.
2. Sometimes I’ll stare back and say, “Is this thing on?”
3. I learned early to never, ever begin a group discussion by asking, “Are you guys hungover or dead?”
4. I talk to people every day who’d rather be watching Netflix.
5. If I’m walking down a long, empty hallway and no one is around, I will fight the urge to run like the principal in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. And the urge will win.
6. Required homework assignments are often ignored.
7. Cafeteria cooks regularly invent new food groups.
8. When I hear U2 rather than Perry Como in the lounge, I stop and believe I’m in the wrong place. Every time.
9. My colleagues and I are up to here with emotional loved ones blaming the government.
10. Everyone is looking at their phones when I need their attention.
11. Most wait until the last minute to study for finals.
12. I am usually caught off guard when someone asks for a moment of silence to pray.
13. No one cares what I’m wearing unless it’s a Talking Heads t-shirt. Then everyone has an opinion.